3 year Anniversary!

Yesterday Ryan and I celebrated our 3rd Wedding Anniversary!!!! We have had alot of ups and downs in the last 3 years, but I wouldn't trade it for anything because we are both better people and are much closer because of the things we have gone through together. It feels like so much longer than 3 years. I have a crazy tradition that every year on our anniversary I watch our wedding video. Ryan thinks I'm crazy but hey, I enjoy it. Yesterday I actually got to watch it at exactly the same time as our actual wedding 3 years ago. Pretty cool if I say so myself. LOL This is actually the first anniversary that we didnt go away for the weekend on a mini getaway,  but we enjoyed what we did do instead. We really didn't want to have someone watch Zoey, we wanted to enjoy the day with her. So went went on a road trip to Branson and Springfield on Saturday. We started the day by sleeping in a bit and then got up and drove to Branson to eat at Panera Bread for lunch. That place is our favorite place to eat and eat there every time we go to Branson. After lunch I wanted to head to Old Navy and pick up some cheap flip-flops for the summer. Then is was off to Springfield we go. We headed to Bass Pro and we had a blast! We spent 2 hours just walking around and looking at everything. Zoey LOVED the waterfall and ducks that were in the water. She just sat in her stroller eyes wide open just watching the ducks swim around. I think we are going to have an outdoors girl. Ryan's happy about that one! We each found something we just had to have there. We found Zoey a cute "My First Fishing Hat", Ryan found some sunglasses and I found some shoes that I have been wanted, but they were at a lower price!!! I love that I'm a bargain shopper! Ryan does too! :) We then headed to Toys R US. Zoey had gotten a swing at one of her showers and we already have one and she hates it, so there was no point in having another one. So we finally got to take it back and Ryan and I got to have a little shopping spree for her. It was a Toys R Us/Babies R US combined so it had everything she could possibly need. We got her some cute summer dresses, summer outfits, a swim floatie for us to use at the lake this year, a jumparoo that she can use to help strengthen her legs, some bowls for when she starts to eat baby food, spoons to go with, and some rice cereal that we are hopefully going to start her on here soon. We also spent about 2 hours in that store. It was fun for us to go around and find things for Zoey and we still have some money left over to come back and get her more stuff when she gets a little bigger. After all of that shopping it was time for dinner at one of our favorite places, Texas Roadhouse! It was yummy as always and Zoey was full of smiles the whole dinner, especially when the country music came on!!! Thats my girl:) We didnt get back until midnight but we had a great day together.
On our actual anniversary yesterday we both had to work. But we did get to go out to dinner with Ryan's parents and all 4 of us celebrated our anniversary. We got married on their 38th Wedding Anniversary so it was kinda cool to get to celebrate both anniversaries last night! I didn't get any pics from either day but here are a few from our wedding day!

                                             Ryan waited for me to walk down the aisle to him!

          Walking down the aisle with my dad. I so thought that I would cry down the aisle but I held it in.

                                           Staring at each other for what felt like forever, LOL.

                                               Our Wedding Party right after we got married.

                                             The Newlyweds, Mr and Mrs. Ryan Kaye!!!!!

                                         We are still so much in love, as we were that day!

                                        Right as we walked into our reception, can you tell I'm happy?

That was a great day, but so stressful getting ready for everything, but happy that it all turned out great!

Milestones

Time is flying by! Zoey will be 4 months in just a couple of weeks and it's crazy to think she has been in our lives that long! She is growing like a weed and discovering something new it seems like everyday. For the first 2 months that she was home she refused to sleep in her crib. She has now gotten use to it and sleeps in it every night with one except.....she has to sleep on the pink and black blanket that I made or she won't sleep at night. I think that she likes it because it smells like us. She is like her Mom and Dad both in the fact that she loves to be cuddled up with a blanket to sleep. Most people say don't put babies to sleep with a blanket, but this baby won't sleep without one! I've learned to take what the "experts" say with a grain of salt sometimes. You have to learn to do what works best for your baby and sometimes it doesn't go with what the "experts" have to say about the topic.
  Two weeks ago was a sad day for Mommy. I had to finally go through her clothes and take out what didn't fit anymore and that included moving up a size in diapers. No more Newborn clothes or diapers for this little Kaye. TEAR!!! It was kinda hard, but at the same time I know that it means that she is getting bigger and getting healthier, or chubby. LOL She kicks her legs and moves her arms now, like its no body's business. She looks like she is trying to take off and move. One baby step at a time, this Momma aint ready for her to pick up and become mobile just quite yet. Zoey has also just this week become interested in toys and grabbing on to things. As a mom it is so cool to see her do something new that she wasn't able to do just the day before. I have a feeling that the video camera will now be permenantly attached to me seeing that I don't want Daddy to miss all of the cool things she is doing during the day, while he is at work.
 As of this weekend we in the Kaye household have 2 big announcements!!! Zoey has started teething this weekend. I really can't believe that she has started this early. She is just getting so big. AND...... she has started sleeping through the night! She slept for the first time on March 5th for 7 hours straight!!! I still got up to check on her to make sure she was still breathing. Yes, I am a 1st time Mom, can't you tell!!! The next night she slept 9 hours!!! Ryan and I were totally blown away!!! I can't believe it! It has been such a huge week for her, I don't know what to expect from her next. She has definately been such a huge blessing in Ryan and myself's life. Sorry, no picture this post, my computer cord isn't charging right and waiting on a new one to come in the mail!

Busy Bees

That would describe our live the past few weeks. My dad and his gf came into town two weekends ago and boy was Zoey spoiled! She was held almost the entire weekend and she loved every min. of it! She is definitely one very loved little girl!

 So was so comfy in Grandpa Downey's lap. She looks so tiny on his chest.

 Grandpa Downey trying to give her a Blvd Wheat already and she's only 2 months old! Guess we're starting her early. LOL

He's such a proud Grandpa! I learned after we were home and out of Little Rock that every time he left my hospital room he went to go see Zoey and he left quite alot of times! I'm glad that she had people there to keep her company when her Mommy was too sick to do so!
 Zoey's big present from Grandpa Downey and Nana was her activity center. It's fishy themed and really cute. I can't wait until she's big enough to play in it. It won't be before too long. We had a great visit with them while they were in town and it was so nice to get to show them Mountain Home and where we live. We ate out, watched KU pull out a WIN and just relaxed and enjoyed each other's company for the weekend.
 Last weekend Zoey had her 3rd and final shower. We missed 2 of her showers because she decided to come early, but that just meant she got to be there for the make-up showers. Our church threw her a shower back on my birthday, January 8th and then the ladies of the American Legion Auxiliary threw her a shower last Sunday. When my mother in law said that the ladies wanted to throw Zoey a shower I was very shocked and honored that ladies that have never met her wanted to met her and shower her with girfts! Here are a few pics from that shower.

 Zoey's diaper cake and "money tree". Now, when she grows up she will be able to say, "See Mom, money does grow on trees." LOL I thought the tree was such a cool idea and had never seen that before.

 It was such a pretty set up of cupcakes and cookies and the gift table on the side.

 Of course she did what she does best and sleep through most of her shower except when it was time to eat of course. She wasn't about to let everyone else eat and not her.

 All of her gifts after I opened them for her. She got tons of cute things and outfits. Thankfully she got alot of clothes that were bigger sizes that she can grow unto. That way she won't have to go naked once 12months clothes start to fit her, which of course makes her Daddy happy.

                                                           Such a proud Grandma Kaye!
During the shower her Daddy got a call saying that he had got the job that he had interviewed for on Friday afternoon! YEAH! Ryan now works at Discount Towing as a tow truck driver and after his first week he loves it! He goes on calls and tows cars and trucks and during his down time he gets to take cars apart and disassemble the parts. To me, it just sounds like boys getting to play with their toys, which of course he loves to do when to comes to anything hands on. It's nice for him to have a full time job that's 40 hrs a week and where we know he's got a steady paycheck every week. I'm working only two mornings a week right now, that way I can stay home and take care of Zoey since we don't want her to go to daycare. The days that I do work she stays with her Grandma and Grandpa Kaye and I'm not sure who benefits from it more her or her grandparents. She loves to go over there and is always so good for them so that makes Momma happy! It's nice to be able to get out of the house and work for a bit but come 12:30pm on Wednesdays and Fridays, I'm so ready to go pick her up and spend the rest of the day with her.
 We have finally seemed to have some what of a routine with her and she knows when things change from her routine. I get up with her at night and while some nights she has me up almost all night, I really do enjoy the mommy and me time that we get to spend together. It's so nice just to be able to hold and cuddle with her right after she's had her bottle and before I put her back down to sleep. I don't think I'd let Ryan get up and feed her now we have a routine because I really love the "just us girl time". Ryan will usually do the 6am feeding because that's when he gets home from the paper route and Zoey has come to expect that is when she gets her and Daddy time. She also now that Daddy has started his job gets him all to herself when he gets home at night and he usually is the one to put her to bed. This has seemed to work pretty well for us. She did have a really rough week this last week. She had days where she would just cry and cry and cry for hours on end. Now, this is not my sweet little princess! She is very good and only really cries when you are getting her naked or she is hungry, besides that she is so good. For whatever the reason this was not the case this last week. She was so fussy! My heart was breaking for her as a Mom because I could not settle her down and had no clue what was wrong with her. The only thing that seemed to work was putting her in her car seat and taking her for a car ride. There were a couple different times that it was my last resort but I ended up doing it just to get her to go to sleep after hours of crying. We did change her bottles to the drop in kind to hopefully get rid of some much air and she has stopped spitting up so much so they seem to really be working for her. We also have been giving her gas drops to help her and they seem to be helping also and she loves them! She will lick her lips for 20 mins. after you give them to her. It is pretty funny to watch! Last night I did move her blanket from the couch where she has been sleeping to her bed and she actually slept in her bed with no problems last night!!!! WOOHOO!! Hopefully all she needed was her blanket that smells like us in there with her and she will continue to sleep in her bed instead of on the couch every night. Yes, she has been sleeping on the couch for the past month because every time you put her in her bed she'd scream. There are so many books out there and parenting websites that tell you should do this and don't do that. Well, I've decided that while those are great as guides whatever works for my daughter is what we are going to do. If her sleeping on the couch doesn't harm her and it helps her to sleep then that's what we are doing. She also sleeps with a light on and that works just fine for us! Every child is different and different things work for each one. Just like the Dr tells me that since she was a preemie that her development will probably be slower for her actual age. I don't believe that one bit. She has had strong neck muscles since day 1 and she has been moving her hands like crazy since then also. She is a fighter and has proved that in the hospital in Little Rock. My baby is doing great and is actually a head of where she should be for her adjusted age. To Ryan and I, she's perfect, but we are just a little bit bias! :) I guess that's all for now! Zoey and I have a big weekend planned for next weekend! We are taking her first road trip to Kansas City for Cayden's 5th Birthday and she gets to meet some family that she's hasn't met before! I'm excited but a little nervous at the same time! I should be taking lots of pics. Please pray that we have a safe trip with very little drama!!!!

2 months old

I can't believe Zoey turned 2 months old yesterday! I know all Mom says that time flies when their little baby grows up but it's so true. It's especially crazy since she was 7 weeks early and should just now be only 1 week old. I took her to get her 2 month shots yesterday and she did so good, even though she got 3shots and I did good too and I didn't cry! I know that sounds crazy, but I've cried at her tramatic getting her blood drawn for Factor 9 experience and her horrible eye checkup.

 She is getting so big! At her 2 month checkup appt she weighed 8 lbs 7ozs and was 20 3/4 inches long! She use to be able to fit on my lap but it seems like this week that she is too long to fit without kicking my tummy. The Dr. says that since she is a preemie her development will be 7 weeks behind, but I think that she will be just fine. She is already lifting her head up and she moves her hands like crazy and will grab on to the strings of my hoodies and has learned to grab onto my hair. She sleeps about 3 hours at a time and eats 3ozs of her bottle every time she eats. Every once and a while she will let me sleep 4 hours at a time at night, but it's usually 3 hours.

 Zoey's got a big weekend ahead, her Grandpa Downey and Nana will be in town this weekend and the last time they saw her was the hospital. They won't even recognize her since she has gotten so big!

Bittersweet Day

That's the best way that I can explain how I'm feeling today. Today, January 3rd, was suppose to be the day that my c-section was scheduled for Zoey to make her entrance into this world. Seven weeks ago, that all changed when I woke up at 3am on November 14th with severe pains thinking that my cyst had burst. Ryan and I headed to my Dr.'s office at 6am thinking I was just overreacting and that everything was going to be just fine. From then til December 8th our world was turned inside out and it all become a huge blur. November 17th was a great day because Zoey Marie Kaye came into this world and it just happens to be World Prematurity Day. Talk about irony on that one! After everything that we went through in Little Rock for the next month and finding out that Zoey will be the only child I will ever be able to have due to my heart not be able to handle another pregnancy, today has been hard for me. Realizing that I will never be able to experience a full 9 month pregnancy, I will never get to know what's it's like to be 8 or 9 months, and never be able to go through a normal delivery or c-section without all of the problems or a quick hospital stay and then getting to take our baby home right away like most people. I love my Zoey Marie so much and have loved being her Mom for the last few weeks, but I can't help but feel robbed today on the day she was suppose to be here. I have a friend who due at the end of the month and we have been able to relate to each other through our pregnancies because we were 3 weeks apart, but for the last month I can't relate to her. I have no idea what she is feeling or going through.
 I know that everything happens for a reason and for some reason Zoey was meant to come into our lives the day that she did, the way that she did and the time in our lives that she did. I also know that it's normal to be kinda sad today, so I will embrace these feelings and let myself go through the emotions and tomorrow will be a different day and I will focus on my little girl and being a good mother to her, the best that I can. After all who can resist this cute little face?

She is my everything and has totally stolen my heart in just the 7 short weeks she has been here with us! :)

Christmas 2011

This year we had our First Christmas as a Family of 3! Even though Zoey slept through most of her first Christmas, it was so nice to be home together just the 3 of us! We got dressed up cute for Christmas Eve and went over to Ryan's Parents house for the afternoon to hang out and then eat a nice ham dinner. Christmas Morning we slept in a little bit and then opened up presents. Zoey was so spoiled this year and had tons of presents for her first Christmas! We love her so much!

                                   She looks so peaceful when she sleeps! Such a good little girl!

 Look at all of those presents! She slept the whole time that I opened her presents for her. She got tons of cute clothes, stuffed animals and even her first KU outfit! YEAH! Rockchalk Jayhawk KU!

Life with a Premie Newborn

 Well, even though right now I should be huge and have our little one still in my tummy, I'm very happy to have her here with us! I love this little girl so much! They say you have this unbelievable love for your children that you can't describe, you just have to experience and I so understand that now. Ryan and I would do anything for our Zoey Marie!

   Daddy and his 2 babies! Franklyn is so protective of her and every time she cries he runs right up to her and sniffs and licks her, like "it's okaye Zoey". It's too cute! He does have his moments where he is jealous, like when she eats and he wants to be petted too while you are feeding her and he will try and lay on her to get your attention.  
    We have been back home for about a week now and are trying to get a routine down. She had a strict routine in NICU and we have tried to stick to that but, she has had some other plans, so we have had to adjust to her and what she wants. We try to feed her about every 4 hours, but there are times when she is screaming at us that she wants her food NOW! Ryan and I have really lucked out in having such a great baby. For the most part she really only cries when you try to change her diaper and she's hungry. That little girl HATES to be naked and her Daddy says good, she can stay that way. LOL  We have tried to soak up as much hugs and kisses as we possibly can because for the first 3 weeks of her life we couldn't really do all of that with her hooked up to so many machines and it's just not the same as when you are home on your own couch cuddling with your girl. We've only had 1 night so far where she only wanted to be held the whole night and cried every time she was put into her bed. I think that sometimes it's just too quite for her at night because she is used to the NICU where there was constantly some noise with machines alarming at you or other babies crying.
  I don't know what I expected as at stay at home mom during my maternity leave, but I feel like I can't seem to have enough energy to get everything done. Sleepless nights, all hours of the night feedings, dirty diapers, I expected all of those. I guess I do have to realize that not only did I have a preemie baby 7 weeks early via c-section, but I also had pregnancy heart failure which most women don't have the added stress of and the added loss of energy that comes with heart failure. I guess I just feel like since I'm home and only working at couple hours twice a week that I should be able to take care of Zoey, keep up with the crazy amounts of laundry, dishes, cooking dinner every night and normal house work and get it all done. But what I'm finding out is that isn't the case at all! I'm doing good just taking care of Zoey and keeping up with the laundry for her and us to make sure we all have what we need to wear when we need it and my energy level is shot. I know that right now my primary concern is taking care of Zoey and I should be happy as long is she is taking care of, but its hard not to want to do it all, as crazy as that sounds. I know that in time I'll get everything done and get a routine that works well for all 3 of us, but until then it's all just a learning process.

                                  My favorite outfit of hers! She's such a hoot in her Owl outfit! LOL

Her first bath at home and she hated it just like I knew she would because she was naked. Oh well, she has to get clean some time.

I do have a dumb Mom moment for you. Yesterday I took Miss Zoey to work with me while I made some insurance phone calls for a couple hours. It was time for her bottle and I went to make her bottle and measured her formula in her bottle. I shook it up and went to put the nipple on the top and realized that Mom had FORGOT to pack a nipple in her diaper bag!!! Way to go idiot Mom and oh Zoey let Mom know I was an idiot the whole way home. Like I said, I'm still learning! LOL